Not All Scars Heal
by Alpha Andrew
Summary: "Will you even remember me when I'm gone? Are you ever going to think about me when you look up and see a star or think of me whenever you hear a song?" One of the last thoughts that ever ran through a young wolfs head, before he did something unimaginable. Rated T for being not exactly sunshine and rainbows


**Not All Scars Heal**

**A/N I'm going to keep this short and simple, this is not a valentines day one shot, it's pretty much the exact opposite. This is not a happy story so be warned when getting into it. I'll explain why I uploaded this today of all days at the bottom. Go ahead and read.**

A lone wolf sat on a large rock on top of a cliff. He was a medium sized black wolf, he wore a black t shirt and dark blue jeans, normally he'd be wearing red or some other colour other then black or dark blue but not today. There was other things that were different today, his gold chain was tucked under his shirt and his watch hidden behind his leg, he didn't want to display himself or look flashy, not today. The night was mainly silent, but the bitter cold of the snow was undeniable, still he stayed in his t shirt, it was nothing to him, he couldn't feel anything.

It was raining even though there was snow on the ground, the rain pattering against the white ground, soon to become ice. He looked to his left and saw a patch of trees not too far away from him, their cold snowy branches standing still, not swaying at all. The weather was fine without the wind, but the cold was still bitter, like him. Bitter and heartless. As he thought to himself his gaze drifted down to his arm, seeing the large scar that stretched from the top of his shoulder down his arm for about 3 or 4 inches, he cringed remembering how that scar got there. The scar was never going to go away, he would always have it, it would always be there to remind him of his foolishness. How could he have trusted her? He should have known better, shouldn't have let himself go soft. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

He could feel the walls around his heart, cold as Antarctica and as hard as obsidian. If only his mind had those walls as well, he could feel the pain and sadness seeping throughout his body. No matter what he couldn't stop his thoughts from tormenting him. _Why did you let her do that to you? Why did you let her go? Why didn't you fight for her like a real man?_ No matter how hard he fought he couldn't get the thoughts out of his head, it drove him nearly mad. It didn't get better, by the time he thought he had moved on and he had met another person, somebody he thought might be the one. All he heard in his mind was that he wasn't good enough for her, that she deserved better. What made him think that she'd be satisfied with him if nobody else was? He felt like such an outcast... Nobody really understood him, they thought they did. They didn't. No matter how much they tried to understand they never would. He was alone, and always would be.

After a while he just accepted that he was meant to be alone... No matter how hard he tried, whoever he loved was either with somebody, not interested, or didn't even know he existed. He had tried so hard to keep his head up, but it wasn't working.. He tried for his family, they didn't really know what he was going through, then again he rarely talked to them so it wasn't their fault. The people he considered family understood more though... They helped... But you can only help so much when somebody is beyond help.. When somebody is past the brink and you just need to accept their gone... He loved his family to death.. But it was just time... Time for him to accept his fate... His body was beaten and broken, his mind was scarred and destroyed and his heart was burnt and shredded.

It was funny how little some people appreciated him. Some just used him as their toy to be thrown away after they used him, some played him along, making him think he had something with them only to be crushed, and some just threw him under the bus with no logical explanation. He did nothing to them yet they treated him like he was nothing. Yeah there was people who didn't do that, his family, some of his friends, the people he cared about most. But no matter how hard they tried they couldn't begin to comprehend the pain that was in his head, it was a wonder he wasn't dead from stressing so much.

Life always seemed to hate him, everything was going well for a while but then a whole slew of things screwed everything up, he had people he love turn against him, he had friends show their true colours. He tried to make things right with some, but not everyone truly accepted his apology, some did, and he was grateful for it. But after everything he had been through he just couldn't do it anymore. Every odd was stacked against him and he had nowhere to go... Nothing to do but give in to what was happening and allow it to do what it pleased with him. It's all he could do and all he cared to do, he was done with caring about what happened to him. He wasn't of importance anymore, the person he had loved threw him on the ground, kicked him while he was done and left him to die. Why not give them their last request? For him to drop dead.

He knew thinking like this could have repercussions. He knew it could end badly but he couldn't think of another way out. He loved his family so much but he hated himself so much, he couldn't believe what he had become. It was weird how he felt about himself, one moment he hated himself the next he was self righteous and self indulgent. He couldn't decide whether he was amazing or worthless, great or terrible, a king or a peasant. His own thoughts threatened to drive him insane, the more he fought the worse it got, soon he was remembering everything that had ever hurt him and it was overflowing him. Overtaking his body and his mind.

The worst part was, he thought he deserved it, he made the mistakes he made. He choose the people he choose. Even though his choices were clouded by lies and deceit, it didn't matter to him, he should have known better, should have been smarter, should have been stronger... His situation was awful, but he had been through worse, right? He couldn't tell anymore... It was all grey now, nothing was different, he just went through life trying to stay alive, trying not to act differently. Trying to fit into the crowds of people, living normal happy lives, he couldn't imagine what that felt like, he would give anything to be like them. Just have no worries for a while, be able to look into the mirror without having shame creep into him as soon as he does... He wished he was ale to listen to his music without being reminded of all the pain he endured, all the scars he was covered in... Mental and psychical... He was strong... There was no doubt about it... But he could have been stronger... Maybe then he wouldn't be alone in this cold, empty world.

He stood up slowly, he was done, done with the world, done with life, done with himself, he slowly walked towards the edge of the cliff, staring down into the black pit with no fear. He wasn't afraid to die, in fact he kind of welcomed it, he wanted to see what it felt like to finally know the release of death. To know that everything was over and to know that he could finally be at rest. He let out a slow breath, watching the warm air fly off into the dark sky. He couldn't help but think back on what he said in the past, he could remember one clear phrase and it was so obvious why it stuck in his head so much, it was such a simple question but so profound and hurtful if said to the wrong person. _Will you even remember me when I'm gone? Are you ever going to think about me when you look up and see a star or think of me whenever you hear a song? _He shook his head, he doubted it, he had no reason to be remembered. He was a nobody. As he thought he slipped his first foot over the edge, closing his eyes slowly and standing there for a few seconds.

"Don't remember me." He whispered to nobody before letting himself fall down into the pitch black abyss. As he fell all he could think about was his failures in life and all the things he did wrong, and, as he was thinking on his biggest failure of all. He felt a small pang of regret in his stomach. Then, everything went black and it was over, there was nothing left. Only a hollow shell of what once was...

**A/N told you it was not a happy story, now then, the reason I uploaded this is because I hate valentines day. I've always been alone on that day and I've never felt what you'd consider "true love" on that day, so just like every other valentines day since I've been born I'll be spending that day alone. So to any of you who PM me tomorrow, won't answer, don't take it personally. I just don't want to talk to anyone. Just a quick little explanation of who her is, she was my ex girlfriend who cheated on me, broke my heart, left me for dead and then came back thinking everything would be fine. Unfortunately, I still cared for her. So I let her come back and then she did the exact same thing to me again. I'm still dealing with the problems that came from her. I still care about her but I know I can't have her. Well, I have nothing else to say. Goodbye everyone.**


End file.
